The Strange Appeal of Unattainable Love


Perhaps it was Carrie Bradshaw who first posed this philosophical love question for the world's women to ponder: "Did I ever really love Big, or was I addicted to the pain?" she asked. "The exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable." Or perhaps it was Olivia Pope who took the question and ran it home: "I don't want normal and easy and simple," she said. "I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love. Don't you want that too?" But as Carrie eventually concluded—and as Olivia's companion concisely pointed out—love isn't supposed to hurt. It's only in the wanting of someone who doesn't reciprocate our affections that pain creeps in. We know, deep down, we'll never truly capture this particular heart. But we don't hesitate to rake ours over the coals, hoping against hope they'll match our love eventually. Why do we try so hard when all signs point to disappointment? "Some women chase unattainable love because, deep down, they don't feel worthy of the real deal," says April Masini, relationship expert and author. "You'll see them with a married man, hoping he'll leave his wife. Or you'll see them in a series of one-night stands where they try to leverage

The Strange Appeal of Unattainable Love

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